Friday, 15 August 2014

The Struggles of a Mom with ADHD


*Please forgive grammar and spelling errors, I wrote this on impulse and feel like it should be read as raw and structured as I was feeling at the time of composing it*

So, I haven’t written a blog in months now. Why? I just haven’t been able to; I’m not even sure if I’ll get this post finished. Right now it 4:51 and I just spent about 20 minutes throwing up into a bucket on my living room floor.  My fiancĂ©e finally went back to bed after nursing me for the last 45 minutes or so.
It’s been a really hard few weeks recently; my ADHD is in full flight and kicking my ass a little to be honest. It’s been very hectic, Conor isn’t coping the best with the structure-less summer holidays, our attempts to keep him busy and engaged result most often with “I’m tired” and “Stop ‘noying me!” he doesn’t want to eat at dinner time most days… but luckily he’s also very good at breakfast and lunch so it’s easy to slip in the nutrition he needs without having to stress him out over finishing his veggies at dinner time. A typical ASD parent problem, but I hadn’t had to worry about it for so long, and it was just the worst week for it to resurface. But still it’s one more thing on the list of worries.
We also took in a nine month old foster puppy about 2 or 3 weeks ago (I honestly can’t keep my days straight) and we found out about a week ago that she’s pregnant and the previous owner of the dog had no idea! Due to a personal circumstance the dog was kept by a former partner and returned to her only recently, but Skyler (the puppy) was already well into her pregnancy. I didn’t notice the signs at first, I just thought she was a very lazy husky, like my Xena and loved her sleep and cuddles. She was very chubby for a husky too, so I wormed her in case she was bloated with worms and nothing really changed. She was happy, occasionally playful and mostly lazy as hell, I figured she’s 9 months old and she’s been eating crappy cans of Pedigree Chump mixed with crappy nuts, no wonder she was chubby. So naturally I weaned her onto a good puppy diet, and figured I’d let it sorted itself out. We found Skyler a home with Nikki’s mom and sister who were dying to get her home last Friday (or the Friday before) but few days before we had planned to travel the 2 and a half hours to their house with her I noticed her nipples were very swollen and when I put my hand under her to check I felt a puppy move. So it was straight to vet 20ish kilometres away in Gorey, I don’t trust the vets in my home town, also I worked in this particular hospital all through college as a work experience student, vet tech or volunteer at various times. The scanner was barely on her belly and there was a puppy on the screen, fully formed with his or her tiny heart thumping along very nicely. When I informed her owner she was so upset and angry that her ex partner, clearly, hadn’t looked after the dog at all and offered to pay the vets bills. A week later she was back again for a scan because she was acting strange not eating and not really sleeping. Which was her all-time favourite pastime. Also…. I could only feel one puppy moving and I didn’t want to the take risk that if tragedy had struck the other puppies the surviving ones might have the same fate. But I over reacted and she was fine so were the babies!
So there are two of the issues I’ve been dealing with along with desperate battles with my lack of focusing abilities. I’m staring fights left right and centre because I’m convinced I’ve told Nikki something or asked her to do something and she hasn’t done them or tells me she knew nothing about whatever it was I was sure I’d told her. I was drifting off mid-sentence and completely just shutting off. I had so many different trains of thought in my head:
I need to do….
I forgot to….
I didn’t…
I lost…
The dogs need….
We have get Conor’s school supplies.
We need to pay…
We need to buy….
I need to go…..
Conor needs….
Conor wants….
Skyler is sick….
Xander needs to go to behavioural therapy today.
I have to drive *someone* …
Nikki needs….
I’m so sick right know I can’t even…
There were just so many things and more going through my mind that eventually I couldn’t even pick out one clear thought or worry from the din. I had a constant headache and very bad chest infection (still do) and now some type of vomiting bug…  I remember a few times just crying on Nikki’s shoulder because I just didn’t know which way was up, I couldn’t even tell her why I was crying, I didn’t even know to be honest. But she knows better than to ask why at this stage. This was my longest bad patch since I was diagnosed at 24 (now 27) and it was so, so difficult. I’m saying ‘was’ now because I just checked my word count and so far I’ve written over 880 words…. So maybe this bad patch is coming to a close. Its 5:37 now and I’m just going to post this after a quick spell check and nothing else. Please forgive any spelling errors or bad grammar. I’d rather you get the full impact the raw rambles above so that maybe other ADHD moms out there who ever feel like this can feel like they aren’t all the horrible things I thought about myself this week, feeling guilty over not paying enough attention, not having patients, not having the energy to do things because I haven’t slept in a week for more than an hour at time. And for all you neuro-typical moms…. Because I’m sure many of you have had an ADHD week or two here and there.
It passes.

It’s passing. I hope.

Friday, 6 June 2014

#5ThingsFriday Link up: 5 things you shouldn't say to an Autism Parent

1. At least you have your son/daughter. It could be worse.

So this parent probably just confided in you about having a really hard day, week or month with their child due to his or her autism and you decided to add a guilt trip to their troubles! Way to kick ‘em when they’re down. We (autism parents) love our autistic children just as much parents of neuro-typical kids. But even those of you without a special needs child need to release your frustrations, tell someone about your struggles and just unburden yourself for five minutes so you can catch a five minute break. They’ll feel guilty about complaining later, just like you would, so don’t heap on an extra serving.

2. Everything happens for a reason!

Autism is a neurological condition, that makes it extremely difficult for those who have it to function in the world today. Everyday things like the arrangement of food on a plate, the type and texture of the food, the noises of traffic  and crowds of people, or simply things not happening exactly when and how they normally do can cause an Autistic child extreme distress. Not because they are naughty or spoiled, because they do not cope with change like most do. They explore and feel pain differently than neuro-typical children which, means they can frequently injure themselves. When they are anxious or distressed ASD kids can self-harm by banging their heads and/or scratching themselves. The everyday world that you and I live in is fraught with dangers and difficulties that you cannot understand until you’ve watched your child struggle simply getting from one end of the day to the next.
Whether someone’s child suffers from only one of these difficulties or all of the at once; they don’t want to hear that their child is struggling for a reason.

3. Well… He doesn’t look like he has special needs.

No, Autism on its own doesn’t shows itself physically, there are some who say autistic children tend to be smaller. My son is 5 and in age 3 clothing, but I also know a 6 year old autistic boy who is the size of an 8 year old. This just implies that it would be worse if the child “looked different” from everyone else, it’s insulting and degrading to children whose conditions or disabilities are physical.

4. Oh my sister’s hairdresser’s cousin has a friend who has an autistic child! I know how tough it is.

Unless this is followed by, “oh let me give you their number or email, it might be good to talk to someone who understands better” this is not helpful. It’s self-indulgent and attention seeking and that it.

5. It mustn’t be that severe, you can’t really tell he has it.

This is something that we hear a lot. Conor was very lucky that he got diagnosed so young and attended two years of early intervention in a special needs school. But at the time of his diagnosis he was in the midrange of spectrum, the reason why you “can’t tell” is because we have his routine down to tee. And we are lucky enough that we can bring him away for a day or even overnight if we prepare him enough beforehand. I don’t credit any of this to the “severity” of his autism, I credit it to the work of the teachers in his special needs school, Conor’s amazing coping skills and the work his other mother and I put into every single day to make sure that things run on what I call “Conor’s Time”. We approach our world through the eyes of autism.
Instead of saying “It must not be that bad” and trivialising the child’s condition try saying “Wow, you must be doing a brilliant job. He’s clearly doing very well.”

5 Things Friday photo 5ThingsFridaySM_zpsada583f1.png

5 Things Friday is just about anything you want it to be! IT can be about your 5 best buys this week, 5 beauty products you just can’t live without or 5 things your kids said that made you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you on the spot! It’s for Mommy, Beauty, Craft, Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger and everyone in between!

Link up your old or new "5 Things" post and come back next month for the next installment!!

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5 Things Friday

Guideline For the link up!

  1. Please follow you hosts and co-hosts.
  2. Link up your post (you can link more than one) 
  3. Share, share, share! the more you share they more attention there is for everyones posts.
  4. Posts with 'Pinable' images will be pinned here.
  5. Enjoy, and come back next month to see which of you will be featured! 
  6. You can link up until the end of the month!
#5ThingsFriday is the hashtag for the link up!



Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Do you share your Passcodes with your other half?



I suppose this is a popular topic, to share or not to share? That is the question!It’s a toss-up between your privacy and a certain level of trust in your relationship. Now, I’m not saying that by not sharing your passcode means you don’t trust your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife etc. Not at all, we all have that private little world inside our phones, especially for bloggers I think, and not wanting to share that isn’t exactly a cardinal sin. It’s more like those first few weeks of a relationship where you don’t want to let anybody else meet her (or him) because you just want to keep it for yourself. Or that certain handbag, CD or pair of shoes you’ll never lend to a friend because you have some unexplainable attachment to it or that pair of pants… you know the ones haven’t fit in years but you won’t throw away. It’s something that’s just yours.



In some relationships this can a huge bone of contention and it causes a lot of tension and suspicion. In many cases the paranoia turns out to be completely justified. It seems these days people will share their ATM pin faster than their phone code. I’ve known couples to break up over such arguments. It may a Facebook password or a phone PIN but it all boils down to the same basic issue:
Nikki knows my phone code and most of my passwords, not because she asked… mainly it’s because it makes my life easier. It means that when I’m driving I can tell her to text or call someone for me, she also tends to download games on my phone a lot -I have an 16GB iPhone and hers is 8GB so she doesn’t like to clog up hers- and if I had to unlock it every time she wanted to play something I may just embed it in her cranium (just kidding baby). I never really flinched about sharing mine at all, at the beginning of our relationship when she had a game on my phone she’d hand it to me to unlock and I did, but now she knows my ATM codes, my phone and iPod (which is more communal property these days! I haven’t even seen it in weeks) passcode. I’m fairly certain she knows my Facebook and email passwords. She never once asked for these, in fact, normally she would hand me the computer to type it in but I just started calling it out if I was busy especially if it was iTunes password, because she’s constantly downloading new games! And eventually she learned them all.

I know her Facebook password and her email I also set up her own iTunes account and I almost certain she doesn’t even know that one! I don’t know her phone code despite her telling me several times; in fact I don’t even know her phone number by heart! I just don’t have a head for numbers, passwords I can remember. I barely remember my own PIN codes!

Do you share your passcode with you partner? Please comment and us why you do or don’t share your passcode!

Saturday, 31 May 2014

Sweet treats delivered straight to your door! And Paris Trip for 2 Giveaway

*Disclaimer*This is a sponsored post.

Taste for Sweets is a really unique company that ships sweet treats from all around the world right to your door! You can subscribe for a monthly fee of $16, which is just under €12 euro (depending on the exchange rate). They offer a monthly, 6 monthly and yearly payment plan, you can cancel any of these plans at any time. They also have gift boxes which are one off purchases and don’t require a subscription at all, they would make get presents for your friends with a sweet tooth. Unfortunately right now they only ship within the US but they are working on expanding their service to other countries. 

Currently Taste For Sweets is offering a discount of 25% off both their subscriptions and gift boxes with these codes:


TASTEFORSWEETS25 : 
Receive 25% OFF when signing up for one of their monthly subscription plans.

GIFTOFSNACKS25 : 
Receive 25% OFF when placing an order for one of their gift box options.

**Please make sure to use all CAPS when entering the code**

You can sign up here.

But wait there's more!!!!!

Need a vacation? Taste For Sweets is giving you a  3 chances to win a trip to Paris!!

Each of the winners of this exciting Paris vacation will enjoy a four-night stay at Hotel Chambiges Elysees, Paris; and spectacular relaxation, entertainment, art, restaurants, and gracious amenities. This exciting Paris package will surely be unforgettable.

- Round-trip airfare for up to two (2) people to Paris, France
- Four-night stay at Hotel Chambiges Elysees, Paris
- One $500 dining credit to use at Philippe et Jean-Pierre Restaurant, Paris 
- Round-trip airport/hotel transportation in Paris, France
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Enjoy your treats each month!!!


Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Twitter hop #56

Dawn’s Disaster
Welcome to Twitter Hop #56!

Come on my lovelies, let's make this the biggest hop yet!

Dawn is taking a break from blogging, so it's just me and Cathy for a while.
but if you would like to be a co-host please email me at serenityyou@hotmail.co.uk

The only "rule" here is to follow as many people on the hop as possible!  I'd love it if you would grab a button and put it on your sidebar or "where hop/party" page.  Alright, let's get this party started!
Your Hosts:
Natasha ~ from Serenity You
Cathy ~ from A Peek Into My Paradise

Your Co Host
Louise ~ from Inked Pixie

Don't forget to share and Tweet about this link up!


Join our mailing list to receive email reminders about our hop!



Saturday, 24 May 2014

Customising Add This "Smart Layers" on Blogger!


Add This Smart Layers is a brilliant free service. It places Follow and share Buttons that “float” over your site so even when your visitors scroll down they are always on screen. When you first install the add this smart layers on your Blogger site the original share buttons are Facebook, Twitter, Email, Print.


But I think that most of us would prefer Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Pinterest. These are the greatest tools that a blogger has for content sharing and driving traffic. It is possible to customise these buttons but the instructions on the Add This site confused the hell out of me. But I figured it out and I wanted to share the way I did it with you in plain English! This should work on most sites as you're just customising the code a little bit, but I can only tell you that it works on Blogger as it’s the only place I’ve used it.

Step 1

To start; Log In or create your Add This account and select Smart Layers. Select your platform, then configure your “Follow” section with your Social Media links etc.  and install the Blogger widget.


Select where in your layout you want the widget, I suggest placing it at the bottom. Leave the widget title blank or the title will show on your blog and the widget below it will be blank.

Step 2


Click “edit” on the widget you just installed and find:

'numPreferredServices' : 6


Replace this with

'services' : 'facebook,twitter,google_plusone_share,pinterest_share,more',


Click save and your site will look like this:




You can change the buttons to include several other buttons by looking up the third party service code here and adding them into the “services” line. For example say you want to add the option to share via buffer or save to pocket so your readers can read later, you'd use this code:

'services' : 'facebook,twitter,google_plusone_share,pinterest_share,buffer,pocket,more',


And then you get this!



I hope you found this helpful! This was my first ever tutorial, if you try this and it works please let me know!

And Share, Share, Share!!!


Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Twitter hop #55

Dawn’s Disaster
Welcome to Twitter Hop #55!

Come on my lovelies, let's make this the biggest hop yet!

Dawn is taking a break from blogging, so it's just me and Cathy for a while.
but if you would like to be a co-host please email me at serenityyou@hotmail.co.uk

The only "rule" here is to follow as many people on the hop as possible!  I'd love it if you would grab a button and put it on your sidebar or "where hop/party" page.  Alright, let's get this party started!
Your Hosts:
Natasha ~ from Serenity You
Cathy ~ from A Peek Into My Paradise

Your Co Host
Louise ~ from Inked Pixie

Don't forget to share and Tweet about this link up!

Join our mailing list to receive email reminders about our hop!